I have decided to try Medifast again AND go to Weight Watchers meetings each week. I need to do something. I do not have $20k for surgery so this is what I have to do for now. And I realize this will be a lifelong struggle for me. I have family and friends who are on my side and are a great support. Tom is started to do this with me too, which is great! :) Even at work I have a bunch of people who want to do a support group and be a healthy, encouraging team. I am trying to psych myself up because I know how hard this is going to be...
On another note, I am going to start a war with my insurance company because I think it's disgusting and wrong that they flat out DENY anyone who needs surgery OR even any weight loss programs. There are many insurances that cover Medifast and other programs and surgeries. Mine probably doesn't because there are so many overweight teachers and they would make no profit. Why are there so many over weight teachers? Because we are stressed out times a million and work 60+ hours a week and literally have no time for ourselves! This is why we are teachers, we put others needs before our own needs. We also don't have time to eat regularly, or use the bathroom. I'll keep you posted on my progress if I make any...
It's Tuesday and Day 2 of Medifast. The first 4-5 days are crucial and the worst! Detoxing from sugar and carbs really stinks (but I am keeping my diet Pepsi because come on I need some kind of treat!) Getting my body into a mild fat burning state is so hard, because the part of my brain that craves sugar starts a war, and it is a battle. It's also not the best timing to start right after Easter and birthdays, with all this chocolate and cake in the house, but I just could not do one more day of living this trapped, painful, depressing way. And I have got to stop making excuses and take care of me.
I definitely use food for comfort, and food to celebrate, and food when I'm bored, and food for social activities, and food for stress. It kinda sucks that I can't cut out food completely like when someone has a drug or alcohol addiction they can give it up completely and avoid situations involving it. How in the heck can I do that with food??? I cannot. My body will always need food. But what I can do is train my brain to have a healthy relationship with food and view it as fuel for my body. We all deal with issues differently and since I can't/won't self medicate with drugs and alcohol I have learned to use food. Way to go Sal. :(
I really hope I can keep this going. And I am really involving God this time because I need Him. And He can help me.
Here's how I feel seeing yummy Costco cake and Easter candy all over my house...
I am now done with DAY 3 and so far everyone has survived. Hooray! Although I have warned my family to tread lightly around me...I am really cranky and really tired.
If I can make it through the first week I can make it all the way. :)
I just read your whole journey! You and I feel all the same feelings, so it's good to know we aren't alone. This is our journey in life. It's our trial. We can do this. I love your blog theme "chose your hard". Going back to your first year you made it sound so easy, when I know it always wasn't. Remember that attitude you had the first year? It was fabulous, so chanel it again with me. Do not cheat. When you started cheating here and there it didn't work. Look back at your journey and read it again. Look at your post when you were in size 14 jeans and in the 180's. You looked and felt amazing. Chanel that. You can do this. We can do this. Thank you for your link!
ReplyDelete